Don’t go looking for goodbye

Tomorrow is the day we receive our A’level results and I can’t be more anxious.

What would I do if I don’t get decent enough results to enter the course that I’m genuinely interested in? What do I tell people then, that my results are not up to standard? The thought of these things make me want to escape reality forever but we all know that’s not possible. So, the only thing I can do now is to wait, and be mentally prepared for what’s coming my way.

Speaking of readiness, I was NOT prepared to injure my back while playing ultimate 2 days ago. I went back to school because I finished my errands, and played a very intense game alongside NTU, against my juniors because NTU didn’t have enough girls. I tried my best but the lack of chemistry between their team and I may have resulted in my lack of assistance in many areas during the game. My back started hurting halfway into the game and I thought nothing about it because the sharp pain has come and gone for about 2 months now. The real pain started while we were cooling down. The pain was truly unbearable, I even teared. Again, I thought a good night’s sleep & anticipation to go to the zoo would ease the pain. But as I slept, I woke up again and again in pain as I can’t even turn my body to sleep sideways without a searing pain through my back. I then knew it was getting serious and texted Amanda at about 2.30am in the morning that I have to cancel the zoo date with her, which I was so excited about.

The next morning, which was yesterday, I told my father what happened and after a few hours of grueling pain & endurance we went to see a doctor. I couldn’t even walk properly as the pain shot down to my thighs and knees. I felt the worst and I kept tearing because the pain was too much. I didn’t think it was a sprain because sprains are less serious and don’t take as much time to recover. It’s still hurting as of now, and I’m wondering how I’m going to manage to go to school tomorrow. But I’ll be fine, as always.

Expect the worst, but pray for the best. 

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Of sunshine, positivity & oximoronic writing. I'm 19 years old this year. I created this blog with the intention of ranting and also to become a hipster but it has brought me nowhere. So here I am, hoping that people enjoy what I write. I never thought I would be sitting here and hoping that someone reads my blog and is actually inspired by it, but I sincerely wish that everyone who stops by will enjoy what I write, especially if it's relatable.

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