TOTT #2

When you truly believe that something will happen in your favour, you feel good because you think that you have confidence that things will go your way.
What if it doesn’t?
Things don’t always go the way we plan. I think people get upset over that way too often. I get upset over that pretty often too. I would have the beautiful perfect image of how everything was going to turn out nicely and it just…. disappears. Reality kicks in and it does not happen. How do you think I feel when that happens?
Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it.
But what can I do? Nothing.
So I sulk. Being the positive and overly optimistic me, I try to convince myself that I will eventually be fine and everything will be okay because if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. Like I said before, that is something I strongly believe in. So I dwell in my own bubble for a little while, stop talking to my friends because honestly that would just make me feel more useless that I was unable to accomplish that particular task that I set for myself. After that while, I convince myself that I am fine and I will live. Because I will, what else am I supposed to do, right?
I hang in there because that’s the best thing I can do for myself. Life is going to throw a lot more at you than just a little bit of sadness and rocky road. You are going to need more than just energy and determination, you need to persevere no matter what the odds are.
I am not perfect, but I will keep pushing myself forward. I will keep trying, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself. I know I always sound like I’m trying to motivate myself and somehow sound like a self-help book on my own, but the reality is, there are 7.4 billion people in this world. There are 5.4 million individuals in Singapore. I don’t know everyone, but somehow I have to compete with just about everyone who is my age, or older. It means that I either have to be open to the idea and engage in healthy competition, or just resign to fate and let other people decide what I should do. I had a realisation the other day that if I am going to aspire to be someone I want to be, then I got to do things that will lead me there, and not just sigh at my misfortunes. Hence, that is exactly what I want to do – work hard towards my small goals and landing where I want to be in the future despite all the setbacks. I may change my opinion or aspiration in the future, but it will be okay as long as I work hard (hopefully).
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